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~~Name~~ Huang Zongyu ???
~~D.O.B~~ 16 June 1985
~~Hometown~~ Bedok RESERVOIR
~~Favourite Food and Drink~~ Chicken Rice and Ice Green Tea
~~Hobbies~~ Pei Laogong, Listen to YES933, Watch TV
~~~~~????~~~~~
1) ???????????????????
more to come... haha
Friday, July 15, 2005
I am very very frustrated over my personal life and my attachment one... Let me talk about my work for my attachment. Its about flash... I just couldn't understand why they required me to draw something which i feel that is totally unesessary ? ... For them they too can't give me a satfisfying asnwer !... Let me give you an example, there is this 1 scene that features the swimming pool area where they wanted to introduce the benefits of installing something to help them to bring the the efficiency there. So I've created the animations that shows the what would it do and what can be done after the pool area is equiped with what are suggested. So now they say, can add someone swimming in the pool ? ... can you draw a person laying on the beach bench having suntec ?... can you make the person walk over and open the locker ? ... what the fuck ? ... you mean without all this, what i've draw does not look like a swimming pool ? ...
The answer they gave me regarding the addition was that to beautify the place... what ? ... you are selling solutions and you think that the client would care whether the place is beautiful ? ... knn... they might as well ask me to go view the pool area of the acutal client they wanted to sell their solutions and ask me to draw? ... Rediculous !!!!! PUI~ KNN What's the problem with them ? ... they think they want me to draw i can like *ting* then the person lying is out izzit? ... I AM NOT AN ARTISE !!!!! MIND YOU @!!! YOU BUNCH OF SUCKERS!!!!
Yao~ Ciaoz
|3:13 PM|
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
I think i kinda get over what i am troubled with this few days... i am someone not easily troubled by something for long... i guess that i will just be the person behind the scene for the time being... I dunno if i should just go away and care no more... hmmm..
I dun wish to be irresponsible bah ... I thrown my temper here already leh... anyway felt better than that day ... =)...
See... i think i have told some of you that NKF cannot be trusted and now *Ta DAaaaa* the media had brought it to the surface... It has been lacking of transparency all the while... People should already be doubtful when they annouced that they are building their own building that is 21million... They are a non-profitable organisation, so... their source of fund can only come from the donations from us... i dun quite understand why are there still people donating to them ? ... Ya... i agree if your intention was that the money would go to those needy patients... but the real case here is that ... the management took a big protion of it and maybe those "selected" patients will get a small portion of the reminding portion... get the point ? .. good...
Since its an organisation built and maintain by our fellow citizens' money... there should be no secrets regarding where are all the transactions goes... true ?... what's the sercretive about to not disclose those statments ? ... people will rob them ? ... i dun understand.
Now that the truth has been found and that is because they are taking the money into their own pockets. I find its ridiculous that the cheif excutive actually wanted to install a gold platted tap that cost at least $1k... -_-'... *blur*... why ? ... hahaa. I wonder whether he has some "depression" that he treated himself as a Kidney Failure patient that's why he used all the money for himself ? ...hmmm... should check his mental health... surely not well at all. lol...
Now... let me think of a new name for that foundation ... hmmm.... yeah... *tink* NKF => [ National Kaysiao Foundation ] ?... Or should change to NDF ? ... National Durai Fundation ? .. (Durai is that person who eats all the money) . ;)
However, i still think that there are way too many shows in a year... they had just finished the cancer show and now its the [President Star Challenge] ... another show... -_-'... Why not we switch role ? ... we op to perform and the artise donates ? ... i think then the artise that feedback to their company and say "wah... Dong Bei Diao arh" dun host so many shows liao . =P...
Ok... time to go ...
k...
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|4:16 PM|
Monday, July 11, 2005
What in the blue hell have i done wrong ?... Just as i started to have a little bit of hope in my life... the lightning just strucks without any signal... there might be some and i just didn't care about it... even if it is so... was it my fault ?....
Why does such a thing actually happens to me ? ... as what my title of this blog is ... "Bad Luck in Everything" !!!!!!! .... i couldn't think of anything in my life that i have done that makes me feels that luck was by my side... no !... no at all... all the luck only happens to the friends around me... i have seen them having to life with the lady luck alongside... No...i won't blame, even if i do, what can i do to change ? ... nothing ... so i do not want to...
When i thought that my life was getting a little brighter with all the friends that i had, someone just ran towards the spark of light and grab it... now... what i could see was just darkness... ya... pure darkness... I feel that i am being defeated by the reality of life... it has always been cruel to me... and till now... it hasn't change at all... maybe i just accidently offended it somehow and it a payback time for me...
Maybe i should just resigned to life as its quite meaningless to be all th while... but i had to really consider my kins that would be sad if i leave... So... the moment where i had no kins at all... i think i can leave peacefully... there is absolutely nothing for me to live for...even now... what's my next stage of life gonna be ? ... going to Uni ? ... well... even if that's the case it hasn't change from my life now... still the same thing... what if i achieved what no others can ? ... no one is there to celebrate or share the joy with me ... why should i ?...
My friend said that i wasn't positive enough... and like i said to him : there wasn't any successful case for me to believe that i would succeed... i not those think skinned kind... i know my limits... i would be so sticky as in keep on following even that person already expressed the rejection to you... anyway ... its the respecting of her decisions too...
Others told me instead to leave it behind me, anyway i will be in NS soon... so concentrate what's comming to me... erm... ya... i guess i should be and only can be...
I just wanted to always ask this question ... why not give me a chance to prove myself that i can do the job well ? ... why decide for me so early ? ... give me chance to prove... if i can't then i would make my best committment to compromise what was required. What was wrong about me ?... Ya... i know... my physical... sad...there is a lot of people saying, its not about the looks but the personality... as what i have already explained why it is not true at all and not right at all in my previous few post...
Fasinating thing was that, i lost a battle that i wasn't even in it... tragic huh ? ... YEah... you damn right it is... go ahead to guess whatever you all like, and i am not gonna tell you who in the hell is happening.... Shit ... its pure shit... What have i done wrong ? ... what have I !!!.... I really doesn't have a clue...
k...
"pls pls.... let me go..."
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|4:30 PM|
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Today had lunch with them as usual , so the assumptions that was pointed out yesterday was broken ... hehee... heng... no need to eat alone liao ... heng heng heng....
Then they also talk about all things under the sun lor... hiaZ... then the whole room there is only me and another guy there who are male... the rest 4 to 5 are females...Then suddenly, my supervisor who goes to collect her health screening result yesterday burst this topic out.
So I was eating half way then they talk about the Sise or something like that i dunno how to spell... Its called "Liu" in chinese, however its not a tumour or what.... then its in her ovary or something... they were like discussing this thing during lunch... woo.... WHAT ?... i am abit embrassed when they touch on this topic sia... i'm a guy mah ... then the other male collegue i mentioned just now ? ... was fast enough to eat fast and run fast...
Nice move... haha... i think next time i shall come out with a topic on penis... hahha... then they know what they discuss today is kinda *ahem* .... hehee
Nothing much to write today actually, i am preparing my notes for the course i am conducting on flash in my company during august, ya... you didn't read wrong, ITS ME !!!... haha... 'It would be so empty without ME!' I finished my flash liao, but my supervisor rushing her work and has no time to view... so gonna wait... then today just keep preparing and preparing... and time just flies... when you are concentrating on your work. This post so short... sian... first time so short... LOL.
k...
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|4:20 PM|
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Today was like... erm the 2nd most alone day i have in the office man ... Everytime for the past 7 weeks, when its time for lunch and people who are farmilar with me would always like "Eh, lunch liao" then i would then follow them to buy whatever they go back to the office to eat mah. That's the routine steps from the past weeks mah.
Then today, I was reading the sports news on the internet to spend some time because i was like done with what i am supposed to do and my supervisor was quite busy and couldn't take a look at my work. So the time passes by 9am , 10am , 11am and 11.55am, then i was getting prepared for those people to like say the same thing before i can like follow them to buy lunch, so i was waiting and waiting, suddenly i turn back and found out that i was the only person left in the office... ???? hmmmm ? ???... what the heck man ???... wah ... then i also like blur and dunno what to do. I was shocked that they didn't ask me along for lunch sia... so i was abit sad lor... yesterday i just praise in my post that there are 2 nice collegue i have and today they abandon me... ... typical singaporean who cannot be praised.... sad...
Then i just go out of the office on my own and then go striaght to subway and eat at my own desk. Sad.... i was very blur and full of doubts in my mind when i eat, did i do something wrong ? did i said something wrong? did i ? ... did i ? ...all this sort of questions keep running in my head... I have absolutely no idea what happen and why nobody had ask me along for lunch ? ... I wouldn't dare to ask them why, i find it kinda foolish to ask man ... what if the answer from them was "you dun dare to eat alone arh ?" ... well haha... actually i have a respond for this, "Then why you all everyday also need to eat together leh ? ... you all dun like to eat alone so do i"... haha... anyway... i didn't ask ...
Wondering why human beings attitude could change so fast in just less than 24 hours ?... what had take place in their mind that set them to do something weird from normal days ? ... hmm... this research sounds interesting but i am not interested to do that ... time wasting... :P I was thinking if i had to eat alone everyday from today onwards for at least 2 more months... i will not have any and i mean ANY morale to go work anymore man ... its like... go, work, home, go,work,home....EErk.... no no no ... need some socialism everyday to keep you motivated.... anyway... this is not my carear so there isn't any goals in the company that i can use as an alternative to keep myself motivated.... true? ... now serving this attachment is just a part of my studies still... and i am not earning much now from this company... so ... ya... I just hope tomolo will be different... :D if its the same... you will see me grumble in my post tomolo le.... so... stay tune for the aftermath... hehee...
Erm... anyway... i will be producing my 3rd song soon... this few days got inspiration and the "dong li" to work and produce this song... hmmm... in the office really nothing to do man.. so i am gonna produce the lyrics in the office and the recording at home... the lyrics not out yet... but i think by this week or lastest next week... so be sure to come here often and you might just listen to my voice again .. :D...
k...
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|2:18 PM|
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Yo yo yo... folks... hmmm... i wrote yesterday that i kinda mumbled the bad things about my
supervisor. Surprisingly, today i saw her msn nick is says "Complain without constructive
reasons will become a habit"... oh no... i thought she was talking about me complaining
her... i was quite worried about that becuase i still have around 3 months or so to work
with her and there is no way i can afford to offend her man... otherwise i will be like...
*ahem*... However, i am not scare of her confronting me if she did, i have every right to
defend what i've said and confident that i wasn't wrong at all, so i didn't much put this
matter to heart and times flies in the early morning. Here comes lunch time and my
supervisor didn't follow, i think she was busy with her work still but request her fellow
collegue to help her to get some takeaway, when we were back in the office as usual sitting
in the meeting from to eat our lunch. She sat down and didn't say a word, then the others
there eating was chit chatting about the comming on projects and things... so she start to
talk like "hahaha, so what's the next thing for our 'brother'(that's me) " ... her tone was
normal... so from that i kinda comfrim that what she wrote in her nick wasn't about me at
all... hmmm... *peace*
Well anyway the usual lunch time talk goes on and today they have touched on the topic of
the televison donating program that was held last saturday. So 1 of the collegue said that
she doesn't know which number represent how many number of calls( e.g 6888 == 8 calls) so
like what the example shows, she dailed the 6888 one and she thought it only represent 1
call and she called 3 times. When her bill arrives and she exclaimed that it cost $200 ++...
haha... i would say that she is abit muddle head bah... so many '8's at the end of the number its
quite obvious that it is more than 1 call... like '6833' is means 3 call per dial. its that
simple... hmm... maybe and just maybe she missed the other 2 or 3 numbers that were showing
on the top let of the TV screen bah... well never mind about that.
So the talk continues and now they goes to the sur-charged that were collected per call of
the donation. 1 of them say the red telecom company should have absorb the charges and let
the money stays at $5. I kinda agree... then the muddle head person i mentioned above said
that the company didn't proit through what are charged per calls it just nicely covers the
cost. Hmmm... it sounds reasonable to me too... really... But... wait wait ... there is
always a 'but' for me ok ok ? ... BUT, i feel that whatever is done on saturday, its for
charity and why not let the red company contribute some money to the charity too ? ... why
are they such a special local company then are involved in the event and not contributing ?
Bias right ? ... what to do ? ... we're in Singapore !
So the topic now flows to whether those performing artise where getting paid to perform or
not ? ... so most of them said no... then 1 of them jumped out and said maybe the overseas
artise are. hmmm... Here comes another question, you never know whether the performers get
paid or not they didn't mentioned it, did they ? On the advertisment, did the MC said "We
have so so so .... who are performing on this event and they did it for FREE ? " did they ?
... erm... perhaps some of you might think about the courtesy of saying such things... erm
?... if you are already in the show, was the big deal of saying ? ... probably you might
just gain popularity for doing free shows for charity ? Comes another question, the performer always prompt the viewers to call and donate and donate... well... who's earning more money and who's not calling ? ... Remember during the kidney charity last year? ... energy and 5566 all those TW stars came and perform ? ... the host will always ask the whole group of people to do the action that is to call in front of the camera? ... Hey come'on, that's all fake ok ? ... think about it, how and why do those TW stars subscribe to local telecom and call for donations ? ... that's too fake ok....
haha...
Hey folks... dun always think of the good side for all the charity things that you
encounter... from now on ... take a little bit of time and think about the dark side of
it... let me just start you kicking. Our most popular charity show every year is receieving
millions and millions of dollar from all sources, TV shows, flag selling, auction during the
7th lunar month etc.... now you know which foundation am i talking about ? ... if not ? ...
i think you are not a singaporean ... :D ... so this foundation had build a building of its
own and on its own... its a private building owned by them. Can you imagine the amount
needed to build ? ... guess where the money had come from ? ... yea... our donations...
yea... so i think i heard before that some said that they build it to provide better quality
service for the paitens or the poor... hey, if you take the sum of money that were thrown to
build the building you can help many many many many many more paitents and perhaps increase the subsidise even... that's crap... so from that day that i know they build a building on
their own onwards... i didn't dial a single call... They are receiving such a huge sum of
money every year and yet there are no formal reports on where had all the money gone to and
what did they used on ... we as a donors of the money aint given the right information where
had our money acutally gone to... who knows probably they had mostly gone to some where
else that we don't wish them to go to ... arh... that's up to you to think. I think we have
the right to know detailed where the money exactly had gone to...maybe it goes to areas where you doesn't want to...
hmmm... the other organisation is different... the one that is a hospital to take care or
the sick ones... i am impressed because, before the start of the show, they actually had
this video that shows what had they bought with the money they've got last year and how many
patients had benefitted from it etc... that should be the way man... so i donated 1 or 2
calls for them and i am happy because they are very responsible to do that... bravo... count
with your fingers how many charity events are there a year and this year there are an
additional one which is still going on and 1 events contribute 2 shows... so count that and
multiple by 2...:)
You see alot of the charity event had prizes that attracts viewers to donate... hey man...
those condos and prize money and credit cards that were given out... the contributers of
those items can cash them in and donate it will effective then to wait for donations... and
by giving out those prizes, it just shows that some people are donating out of their own
will and its just not right...
Hmmm... i've said quite a lot and its up to you folks to think about it and see whether you
wants to carry on... :)...
Add on:
erm... initially i have ended this post already... but something that i am not very happy about happened. na bei... I am kind hearted to like provided my mp3s to my supervisor in the early days in the company, then she said from all my 1.5 Gb songs she only kept 1 or 2 songs ... then from that i know she is kinda retro listerner lor.... ok lah ... you are retorer and i'm not... that's fine with me lah ... then just now what the hell sia... knn.... 1 collugue asked me whether i have mp3 to share to her and then my supervisor was there too then she added "Not need lah, his song not nice one." in chinese that is... what the heck ? .... you are a person who listens to retro songs and you said that all my lastest artises' POP songs are not nice ? ... hey man... she is just 1 of the most self-centered person i've ever met sia... avoiding others to have their own thinking... The lastest pop song not nice ?... I think its her earing and mindset got problem man ...hiaZ... suay man... met such person... Pui~
k...
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|4:08 PM|
Monday, July 04, 2005
Well, when i say weekend, it includes friday too, i think most of you folks felt the same.
=D. The last weekend that i've had was a entertaining one. Friday, this is the day that i go
and listen to what my Uncle (Mr Gates) have to say for all the people in the IT industry, I
was quite excited the day before hehee... However, its still a working day, so i have to
come to the office at usual time first and then set off with my office people together. When
i arrived in the office, i had no mood to work or even open flash workspace.. because we
will be setting off at 1130 and i feel that there is no point to do so tiny little bit of
work. So 1 of my nicer collegue came over and asked me to show her the almost finished
version of my flash. I showed her then she was quite amazed of what i've done and i felt
fully appreciated by her but i was still in doubt whether my work is that good like what she
have said or not. Somehow i started to tell her what the others commented when they view it
the other day which was kinda bad, then she was like trying to talk me through about the way
people in the office talk and doesn't want me to misunderstand or take what they say too
hard or whatever.
Erm, from my point of view, if you do not have the intension of saying what you want to,
then it shouldn't be in your mind at all. So when you have what you would like to say in
your mind already that means you have this intension of what you are thinking, and its ever
worst when you say it out. How can you claim that you doesn't have this intension at all ?
... Bullshit ?... hiaz... but the nice collegue of mine just wants me to feel better...
anyway the bullshit wasn't for her...:D. then the other nice collegue came by and wanted to
view my flash too and she was saying almost the same things the other nice collegue was
saying. Then both of them were like counselling me about their office culture, haha... then
i was debating all the way with them to my point that i want to express. Then we were
talking all the way to like 1150 then the supervisor was like "Can you 2 release him? " the
him was referring to me of course... haha... I think they didn't imagine that i have much of
a complain and have started to realise... hmmm... that seems to be a good thing and a bad
thing, who knows? ... they may just backstab me and tell them to my supervisor and from then
i will be in livin' hell... sux.... haha... who cares ? ... really.
My Uncle's seminar wasn't that better or good either hmmm, nothing much to say about it,
just the question that were asked : "Why is Microsoft so against Open Source ? "...
hahaha... I think this STUNS my uncle big time... and i forgot what exactly his
explaination was but the question was really funny !... hahaha.
After that i went home to get myself ready for an appointment which was the bday of my sec
friend. So we went to the cineleisure's Kbox at 2300 ++ . Kbox was really quite a
disappointment for me man... It was such a nice impression before that day ...The outview of Kbox was like very luxurious the placing of the various artise albums and the
plasma TV outside etc.... woo... so nice... then i when i went in, ARgh! !! The room was
damn small and the TV was soooooo near and the 7 of us can hardly move around, choose a
place and sit down still!.. -_-'. Then people there can smoke wherever they like in the
"AIR-Coned" area in Kbox, the whole place smell. 1 of the microphone was spoil in my room
and the staff there insis that it was working and refused to change 1. Then sing sing sing
till 5am. Actually we were supposed to go at 3am instead but we were like 'bo hiu' and sing
2 more hours...haha... only then i felt revenged !... hahaha Kbox really make a bad
impression to me ... sad...
This friday was a tiring one... I slept till 4pm sat and just relaxed whole day and just sunday the F1 race disappoint me again... hiaZ... why can't Schumi just win a grand prix when Alonso is racing ? ... sad... only finished 3rd and it was a gift from Montoya. Sad... John Todd pls do some magic... help schumi to make legend ...
k...
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|3:45 PM|
Friday, July 15, 2005
I am very very frustrated over my personal life and my attachment one... Let me talk about my work for my attachment. Its about flash... I just couldn't understand why they required me to draw something which i feel that is totally unesessary ? ... For them they too can't give me a satfisfying asnwer !... Let me give you an example, there is this 1 scene that features the swimming pool area where they wanted to introduce the benefits of installing something to help them to bring the the efficiency there. So I've created the animations that shows the what would it do and what can be done after the pool area is equiped with what are suggested. So now they say, can add someone swimming in the pool ? ... can you draw a person laying on the beach bench having suntec ?... can you make the person walk over and open the locker ? ... what the fuck ? ... you mean without all this, what i've draw does not look like a swimming pool ? ...
The answer they gave me regarding the addition was that to beautify the place... what ? ... you are selling solutions and you think that the client would care whether the place is beautiful ? ... knn... they might as well ask me to go view the pool area of the acutal client they wanted to sell their solutions and ask me to draw? ... Rediculous !!!!! PUI~ KNN What's the problem with them ? ... they think they want me to draw i can like *ting* then the person lying is out izzit? ... I AM NOT AN ARTISE !!!!! MIND YOU @!!! YOU BUNCH OF SUCKERS!!!!
Yao~ Ciaoz
|3:13 PM|
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
I think i kinda get over what i am troubled with this few days... i am someone not easily troubled by something for long... i guess that i will just be the person behind the scene for the time being... I dunno if i should just go away and care no more... hmmm..
I dun wish to be irresponsible bah ... I thrown my temper here already leh... anyway felt better than that day ... =)...
See... i think i have told some of you that NKF cannot be trusted and now *Ta DAaaaa* the media had brought it to the surface... It has been lacking of transparency all the while... People should already be doubtful when they annouced that they are building their own building that is 21million... They are a non-profitable organisation, so... their source of fund can only come from the donations from us... i dun quite understand why are there still people donating to them ? ... Ya... i agree if your intention was that the money would go to those needy patients... but the real case here is that ... the management took a big protion of it and maybe those "selected" patients will get a small portion of the reminding portion... get the point ? .. good...
Since its an organisation built and maintain by our fellow citizens' money... there should be no secrets regarding where are all the transactions goes... true ?... what's the sercretive about to not disclose those statments ? ... people will rob them ? ... i dun understand.
Now that the truth has been found and that is because they are taking the money into their own pockets. I find its ridiculous that the cheif excutive actually wanted to install a gold platted tap that cost at least $1k... -_-'... *blur*... why ? ... hahaa. I wonder whether he has some "depression" that he treated himself as a Kidney Failure patient that's why he used all the money for himself ? ...hmmm... should check his mental health... surely not well at all. lol...
Now... let me think of a new name for that foundation ... hmmm.... yeah... *tink* NKF => [ National Kaysiao Foundation ] ?... Or should change to NDF ? ... National Durai Fundation ? .. (Durai is that person who eats all the money) . ;)
However, i still think that there are way too many shows in a year... they had just finished the cancer show and now its the [President Star Challenge] ... another show... -_-'... Why not we switch role ? ... we op to perform and the artise donates ? ... i think then the artise that feedback to their company and say "wah... Dong Bei Diao arh" dun host so many shows liao . =P...
Ok... time to go ...
k...
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|4:16 PM|
Monday, July 11, 2005
What in the blue hell have i done wrong ?... Just as i started to have a little bit of hope in my life... the lightning just strucks without any signal... there might be some and i just didn't care about it... even if it is so... was it my fault ?....
Why does such a thing actually happens to me ? ... as what my title of this blog is ... "Bad Luck in Everything" !!!!!!! .... i couldn't think of anything in my life that i have done that makes me feels that luck was by my side... no !... no at all... all the luck only happens to the friends around me... i have seen them having to life with the lady luck alongside... No...i won't blame, even if i do, what can i do to change ? ... nothing ... so i do not want to...
When i thought that my life was getting a little brighter with all the friends that i had, someone just ran towards the spark of light and grab it... now... what i could see was just darkness... ya... pure darkness... I feel that i am being defeated by the reality of life... it has always been cruel to me... and till now... it hasn't change at all... maybe i just accidently offended it somehow and it a payback time for me...
Maybe i should just resigned to life as its quite meaningless to be all th while... but i had to really consider my kins that would be sad if i leave... So... the moment where i had no kins at all... i think i can leave peacefully... there is absolutely nothing for me to live for...even now... what's my next stage of life gonna be ? ... going to Uni ? ... well... even if that's the case it hasn't change from my life now... still the same thing... what if i achieved what no others can ? ... no one is there to celebrate or share the joy with me ... why should i ?...
My friend said that i wasn't positive enough... and like i said to him : there wasn't any successful case for me to believe that i would succeed... i not those think skinned kind... i know my limits... i would be so sticky as in keep on following even that person already expressed the rejection to you... anyway ... its the respecting of her decisions too...
Others told me instead to leave it behind me, anyway i will be in NS soon... so concentrate what's comming to me... erm... ya... i guess i should be and only can be...
I just wanted to always ask this question ... why not give me a chance to prove myself that i can do the job well ? ... why decide for me so early ? ... give me chance to prove... if i can't then i would make my best committment to compromise what was required. What was wrong about me ?... Ya... i know... my physical... sad...there is a lot of people saying, its not about the looks but the personality... as what i have already explained why it is not true at all and not right at all in my previous few post...
Fasinating thing was that, i lost a battle that i wasn't even in it... tragic huh ? ... YEah... you damn right it is... go ahead to guess whatever you all like, and i am not gonna tell you who in the hell is happening.... Shit ... its pure shit... What have i done wrong ? ... what have I !!!.... I really doesn't have a clue...
k...
"pls pls.... let me go..."
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|4:30 PM|
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Today had lunch with them as usual , so the assumptions that was pointed out yesterday was broken ... hehee... heng... no need to eat alone liao ... heng heng heng....
Then they also talk about all things under the sun lor... hiaZ... then the whole room there is only me and another guy there who are male... the rest 4 to 5 are females...Then suddenly, my supervisor who goes to collect her health screening result yesterday burst this topic out.
So I was eating half way then they talk about the Sise or something like that i dunno how to spell... Its called "Liu" in chinese, however its not a tumour or what.... then its in her ovary or something... they were like discussing this thing during lunch... woo.... WHAT ?... i am abit embrassed when they touch on this topic sia... i'm a guy mah ... then the other male collegue i mentioned just now ? ... was fast enough to eat fast and run fast...
Nice move... haha... i think next time i shall come out with a topic on penis... hahha... then they know what they discuss today is kinda *ahem* .... hehee
Nothing much to write today actually, i am preparing my notes for the course i am conducting on flash in my company during august, ya... you didn't read wrong, ITS ME !!!... haha... 'It would be so empty without ME!' I finished my flash liao, but my supervisor rushing her work and has no time to view... so gonna wait... then today just keep preparing and preparing... and time just flies... when you are concentrating on your work. This post so short... sian... first time so short... LOL.
k...
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|4:20 PM|
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Today was like... erm the 2nd most alone day i have in the office man ... Everytime for the past 7 weeks, when its time for lunch and people who are farmilar with me would always like "Eh, lunch liao" then i would then follow them to buy whatever they go back to the office to eat mah. That's the routine steps from the past weeks mah.
Then today, I was reading the sports news on the internet to spend some time because i was like done with what i am supposed to do and my supervisor was quite busy and couldn't take a look at my work. So the time passes by 9am , 10am , 11am and 11.55am, then i was getting prepared for those people to like say the same thing before i can like follow them to buy lunch, so i was waiting and waiting, suddenly i turn back and found out that i was the only person left in the office... ???? hmmmm ? ???... what the heck man ???... wah ... then i also like blur and dunno what to do. I was shocked that they didn't ask me along for lunch sia... so i was abit sad lor... yesterday i just praise in my post that there are 2 nice collegue i have and today they abandon me... ... typical singaporean who cannot be praised.... sad...
Then i just go out of the office on my own and then go striaght to subway and eat at my own desk. Sad.... i was very blur and full of doubts in my mind when i eat, did i do something wrong ? did i said something wrong? did i ? ... did i ? ...all this sort of questions keep running in my head... I have absolutely no idea what happen and why nobody had ask me along for lunch ? ... I wouldn't dare to ask them why, i find it kinda foolish to ask man ... what if the answer from them was "you dun dare to eat alone arh ?" ... well haha... actually i have a respond for this, "Then why you all everyday also need to eat together leh ? ... you all dun like to eat alone so do i"... haha... anyway... i didn't ask ...
Wondering why human beings attitude could change so fast in just less than 24 hours ?... what had take place in their mind that set them to do something weird from normal days ? ... hmm... this research sounds interesting but i am not interested to do that ... time wasting... :P I was thinking if i had to eat alone everyday from today onwards for at least 2 more months... i will not have any and i mean ANY morale to go work anymore man ... its like... go, work, home, go,work,home....EErk.... no no no ... need some socialism everyday to keep you motivated.... anyway... this is not my carear so there isn't any goals in the company that i can use as an alternative to keep myself motivated.... true? ... now serving this attachment is just a part of my studies still... and i am not earning much now from this company... so ... ya... I just hope tomolo will be different... :D if its the same... you will see me grumble in my post tomolo le.... so... stay tune for the aftermath... hehee...
Erm... anyway... i will be producing my 3rd song soon... this few days got inspiration and the "dong li" to work and produce this song... hmmm... in the office really nothing to do man.. so i am gonna produce the lyrics in the office and the recording at home... the lyrics not out yet... but i think by this week or lastest next week... so be sure to come here often and you might just listen to my voice again .. :D...
k...
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|2:18 PM|
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Yo yo yo... folks... hmmm... i wrote yesterday that i kinda mumbled the bad things about my
supervisor. Surprisingly, today i saw her msn nick is says "Complain without constructive
reasons will become a habit"... oh no... i thought she was talking about me complaining
her... i was quite worried about that becuase i still have around 3 months or so to work
with her and there is no way i can afford to offend her man... otherwise i will be like...
*ahem*... However, i am not scare of her confronting me if she did, i have every right to
defend what i've said and confident that i wasn't wrong at all, so i didn't much put this
matter to heart and times flies in the early morning. Here comes lunch time and my
supervisor didn't follow, i think she was busy with her work still but request her fellow
collegue to help her to get some takeaway, when we were back in the office as usual sitting
in the meeting from to eat our lunch. She sat down and didn't say a word, then the others
there eating was chit chatting about the comming on projects and things... so she start to
talk like "hahaha, so what's the next thing for our 'brother'(that's me) " ... her tone was
normal... so from that i kinda comfrim that what she wrote in her nick wasn't about me at
all... hmmm... *peace*
Well anyway the usual lunch time talk goes on and today they have touched on the topic of
the televison donating program that was held last saturday. So 1 of the collegue said that
she doesn't know which number represent how many number of calls( e.g 6888 == 8 calls) so
like what the example shows, she dailed the 6888 one and she thought it only represent 1
call and she called 3 times. When her bill arrives and she exclaimed that it cost $200 ++...
haha... i would say that she is abit muddle head bah... so many '8's at the end of the number its
quite obvious that it is more than 1 call... like '6833' is means 3 call per dial. its that
simple... hmm... maybe and just maybe she missed the other 2 or 3 numbers that were showing
on the top let of the TV screen bah... well never mind about that.
So the talk continues and now they goes to the sur-charged that were collected per call of
the donation. 1 of them say the red telecom company should have absorb the charges and let
the money stays at $5. I kinda agree... then the muddle head person i mentioned above said
that the company didn't proit through what are charged per calls it just nicely covers the
cost. Hmmm... it sounds reasonable to me too... really... But... wait wait ... there is
always a 'but' for me ok ok ? ... BUT, i feel that whatever is done on saturday, its for
charity and why not let the red company contribute some money to the charity too ? ... why
are they such a special local company then are involved in the event and not contributing ?
Bias right ? ... what to do ? ... we're in Singapore !
So the topic now flows to whether those performing artise where getting paid to perform or
not ? ... so most of them said no... then 1 of them jumped out and said maybe the overseas
artise are. hmmm... Here comes another question, you never know whether the performers get
paid or not they didn't mentioned it, did they ? On the advertisment, did the MC said "We
have so so so .... who are performing on this event and they did it for FREE ? " did they ?
... erm... perhaps some of you might think about the courtesy of saying such things... erm
?... if you are already in the show, was the big deal of saying ? ... probably you might
just gain popularity for doing free shows for charity ? Comes another question, the performer always prompt the viewers to call and donate and donate... well... who's earning more money and who's not calling ? ... Remember during the kidney charity last year? ... energy and 5566 all those TW stars came and perform ? ... the host will always ask the whole group of people to do the action that is to call in front of the camera? ... Hey come'on, that's all fake ok ? ... think about it, how and why do those TW stars subscribe to local telecom and call for donations ? ... that's too fake ok....
haha...
Hey folks... dun always think of the good side for all the charity things that you
encounter... from now on ... take a little bit of time and think about the dark side of
it... let me just start you kicking. Our most popular charity show every year is receieving
millions and millions of dollar from all sources, TV shows, flag selling, auction during the
7th lunar month etc.... now you know which foundation am i talking about ? ... if not ? ...
i think you are not a singaporean ... :D ... so this foundation had build a building of its
own and on its own... its a private building owned by them. Can you imagine the amount
needed to build ? ... guess where the money had come from ? ... yea... our donations...
yea... so i think i heard before that some said that they build it to provide better quality
service for the paitens or the poor... hey, if you take the sum of money that were thrown to
build the building you can help many many many many many more paitents and perhaps increase the subsidise even... that's crap... so from that day that i know they build a building on
their own onwards... i didn't dial a single call... They are receiving such a huge sum of
money every year and yet there are no formal reports on where had all the money gone to and
what did they used on ... we as a donors of the money aint given the right information where
had our money acutally gone to... who knows probably they had mostly gone to some where
else that we don't wish them to go to ... arh... that's up to you to think. I think we have
the right to know detailed where the money exactly had gone to...maybe it goes to areas where you doesn't want to...
hmmm... the other organisation is different... the one that is a hospital to take care or
the sick ones... i am impressed because, before the start of the show, they actually had
this video that shows what had they bought with the money they've got last year and how many
patients had benefitted from it etc... that should be the way man... so i donated 1 or 2
calls for them and i am happy because they are very responsible to do that... bravo... count
with your fingers how many charity events are there a year and this year there are an
additional one which is still going on and 1 events contribute 2 shows... so count that and
multiple by 2...:)
You see alot of the charity event had prizes that attracts viewers to donate... hey man...
those condos and prize money and credit cards that were given out... the contributers of
those items can cash them in and donate it will effective then to wait for donations... and
by giving out those prizes, it just shows that some people are donating out of their own
will and its just not right...
Hmmm... i've said quite a lot and its up to you folks to think about it and see whether you
wants to carry on... :)...
Add on:
erm... initially i have ended this post already... but something that i am not very happy about happened. na bei... I am kind hearted to like provided my mp3s to my supervisor in the early days in the company, then she said from all my 1.5 Gb songs she only kept 1 or 2 songs ... then from that i know she is kinda retro listerner lor.... ok lah ... you are retorer and i'm not... that's fine with me lah ... then just now what the hell sia... knn.... 1 collugue asked me whether i have mp3 to share to her and then my supervisor was there too then she added "Not need lah, his song not nice one." in chinese that is... what the heck ? .... you are a person who listens to retro songs and you said that all my lastest artises' POP songs are not nice ? ... hey man... she is just 1 of the most self-centered person i've ever met sia... avoiding others to have their own thinking... The lastest pop song not nice ?... I think its her earing and mindset got problem man ...hiaZ... suay man... met such person... Pui~
k...
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|4:08 PM|
Monday, July 04, 2005
Well, when i say weekend, it includes friday too, i think most of you folks felt the same.
=D. The last weekend that i've had was a entertaining one. Friday, this is the day that i go
and listen to what my Uncle (Mr Gates) have to say for all the people in the IT industry, I
was quite excited the day before hehee... However, its still a working day, so i have to
come to the office at usual time first and then set off with my office people together. When
i arrived in the office, i had no mood to work or even open flash workspace.. because we
will be setting off at 1130 and i feel that there is no point to do so tiny little bit of
work. So 1 of my nicer collegue came over and asked me to show her the almost finished
version of my flash. I showed her then she was quite amazed of what i've done and i felt
fully appreciated by her but i was still in doubt whether my work is that good like what she
have said or not. Somehow i started to tell her what the others commented when they view it
the other day which was kinda bad, then she was like trying to talk me through about the way
people in the office talk and doesn't want me to misunderstand or take what they say too
hard or whatever.
Erm, from my point of view, if you do not have the intension of saying what you want to,
then it shouldn't be in your mind at all. So when you have what you would like to say in
your mind already that means you have this intension of what you are thinking, and its ever
worst when you say it out. How can you claim that you doesn't have this intension at all ?
... Bullshit ?... hiaz... but the nice collegue of mine just wants me to feel better...
anyway the bullshit wasn't for her...:D. then the other nice collegue came by and wanted to
view my flash too and she was saying almost the same things the other nice collegue was
saying. Then both of them were like counselling me about their office culture, haha... then
i was debating all the way with them to my point that i want to express. Then we were
talking all the way to like 1150 then the supervisor was like "Can you 2 release him? " the
him was referring to me of course... haha... I think they didn't imagine that i have much of
a complain and have started to realise... hmmm... that seems to be a good thing and a bad
thing, who knows? ... they may just backstab me and tell them to my supervisor and from then
i will be in livin' hell... sux.... haha... who cares ? ... really.
My Uncle's seminar wasn't that better or good either hmmm, nothing much to say about it,
just the question that were asked : "Why is Microsoft so against Open Source ? "...
hahaha... I think this STUNS my uncle big time... and i forgot what exactly his
explaination was but the question was really funny !... hahaha.
After that i went home to get myself ready for an appointment which was the bday of my sec
friend. So we went to the cineleisure's Kbox at 2300 ++ . Kbox was really quite a
disappointment for me man... It was such a nice impression before that day ...The outview of Kbox was like very luxurious the placing of the various artise albums and the
plasma TV outside etc.... woo... so nice... then i when i went in, ARgh! !! The room was
damn small and the TV was soooooo near and the 7 of us can hardly move around, choose a
place and sit down still!.. -_-'. Then people there can smoke wherever they like in the
"AIR-Coned" area in Kbox, the whole place smell. 1 of the microphone was spoil in my room
and the staff there insis that it was working and refused to change 1. Then sing sing sing
till 5am. Actually we were supposed to go at 3am instead but we were like 'bo hiu' and sing
2 more hours...haha... only then i felt revenged !... hahaha Kbox really make a bad
impression to me ... sad...
This friday was a tiring one... I slept till 4pm sat and just relaxed whole day and just sunday the F1 race disappoint me again... hiaZ... why can't Schumi just win a grand prix when Alonso is racing ? ... sad... only finished 3rd and it was a gift from Montoya. Sad... John Todd pls do some magic... help schumi to make legend ...
k...
Yao~
Yao~ Ciaoz
|3:45 PM|
